Askham Bryan Cricket Club

Match Report
Askham Bryan II v Pocklington – July 10 2010.
By Mike Bains

The Askham side had a number of new faces as some of our Uni contingent were ‘studying’ this weekend. We were all at the ground, changed and doing some fielding drills bright and early. Skipper Mike Bains lost the toss and our visitors, bottom side Pocklington, elected to bat. This was a game we had to win and your heroes entered the arena on spring heels. Well, sort of. Scooby and Zeeshan prepared to raise the Askham colours.

The veteran Yorkshireman took the cherry and was soon probing away forensically outside off-stump. Zeeshan opened tentatively but accurately. The ring of steel was set, with debutant Sam Gardner leading the way in the vocal theatrics. VC Kiernan estimated we were soon running at 2.6 clichés per over.

Scooby struck! A tidy piece of work from Bala – funky as ever in his designer shades – and the 2 was off. Soon followed by the 1, as Scooby bowled a banana round the back of his legs; this followed a selection of Jaffas and Peaches as another debutant, Sam’s friend Martin, displayed nascent greengrocery knowledge. Zeeshan picked up the visiting Skipper and it was 20 for 3.

There came at this point a loud TWANG! Eyes swivelled automatically to the Skipper. What had snapped? Hamstring? Calf? Knee tendons. Nay, he was (possibly) performing flik-flaks and bodywaves in the covers. Vice-captain Kiernan, his eyes creased in pain behind his designer frames, was clutching his left hamstring. How would the support bowling manage?

We were soon to find out… Gardner and Clark replaced the openers as the visiting 4 and 5 built an admirable partnership. They took the score along to practically three figures before Mike took his first wicket of the campaign. He, Sam and then Brad Wood (with an excellent spell to back up his eminently brave batting the week before) ran through the middle order. Pock’s ‘keeper reached a courageous 52 not out, and Zeeshan picked up the last wicket (the player transferred to Askham after the match!)

Champagne Moment

This deserves a section of its own. The visiting tail threatens to wag as the number 5 – the wk – builds a few cheeky partnerships with the lower order. Mike Clark – switching to the slope-and-rockery end, bowls a testing in-ducker to the number 10. He in turn chips the ball neatly over Steve Horne at mid wicket for a quick two. But wait. Horne casts all thoughts of doyleys and crumbs from his mind (see below) and his slender frame leaves the floor in a balletic, backtwisting corkscrew of torque and tension and gravitational impossibilities. Then in an instant of true Inspector Gadgetry his right arm extends and his fingers seemingly grow and grow and grasp the £6.50 cherry; the tea lady falls back onto the turf and the cricketing world (plus a few Physicists and Biologists) watches with collectively baited breath. The ball does NOT roll out. What … a … CATCH!!!

Tea

Steve Horne again donned the high heels and the short skirt (I speak metaphorically) to serve up a fine array of (flagless) sandwiches and pastries, plus some neatly cut chocolate sponge roll, flapjack and the crowd-pleasing Battenburg. Those European royals certainly can bake!!! Bains served builders tea and BALA went into the zone to prepare to open the batting with Scooby.

Bala and Scooby open but Bala is soon caught as the humidity leads to testing conditions. Skipper Mike Bains and Scooby carry on where they left off against Pock a few weeks earlier, adding a sometimes graceful, sometimes brutal 85 for the second wicket before Bains is caught at deep mid wicket. Zeeshan crafts a tidy 23 despite being short of confidence but falls lbw, swiftly followed by Edmondson and Seavers. The hamstrung VC strikes a few nice blows and Scooby ends on a brilliant unbeaten 77 as your local stars win by 5 wickets with 6 overs to spare.

All off to the Nag’s Head for some fizzy refreshments and much merriment in the garden.

The semi-final looms…

Stockton & Hopgrove 96-3 beat Aksham Bryan I 93 all out by 7 wickets. View Photos

Report (in the form of haiku)

Dry, dusty (really!)
Hot, humid, muggy as hell
Skipper loses toss

Stockon and Hopgrove
Deliberate thoughtfully
Askham Bryan bat

Douglas and Robert
Fight off the early pacemen
Runs accumulate

Doug bowled, Grewer too
Woody, Rob shortly after
Sixty on the board

Sharpe counter-attacks
Scores sixteen while Albert blocks
Scoreboard ticks over

Pete goes, then Naveen,
Sideshow – fine form – blasts away
Albert goes for four

The Obold’s first ball
A marvellous cover drive
First runs for the club

Phil caught, Afshin bowled
Praveen gets caught, leaves Sideshow
twenty-one not out

Tasty tea – Pork pie
Victoria sponge, strawberries,
Tiffin a higlight

Pete Wood bowling first
Pace, zip, straight as an arrow,
Awkward for batsmen

Naveen bowling next
very very very quick
you get the picture

Three wickets then fall
perfect yorker from Naveen
unlikely victory?

Batsmen recover
The Grewer bowls no Grewsra
Afshin wicketless

Stockton hit winner
Celebrations, ovation
to the pub we go.

Malton beat Askham II by quite a few

Askham travelled to high-flying Malton for another week of cricket. The team sat in heavy traffic on the A64 for aeons and eventually arrived just before 2pm. Bains won the toss and put the home side in.

The pitch was a belter and each home batter eschewed the opportunity to play themselves in. Their opener blasted his way to 131 not out and carried his bat. Askham II actually bowled them out in 33 overs! Unfortunately this was at the cost of 259. Sameer, to his credit, clean bowled four in his haul of 5-61.

The batting unfortnately couldn’t reply to the mammoth Malton total. However, there were some notable highlights:

1) Steve Mason blasted a few to add to his two excellent catches.
2) Afshin (of flat cap fame) made double figures, with the last pair adding over 30.

However, an extra special mention goes to the star of the innings – young Brad Wood, who crafted a flawless and gritty 12 not out and batted for 20 overs against some pretty hostile bowling.

With the game over there was a swift departure, fuel stop at the village boozer, then back up a blissfully traffic-free A64 to merry York.

Askham Bryan I 139 lost to Melbourne 140-4 View Photos

Another fine afternoon greeted the Askham crew, assembled under skipper Dale at the College. The pitch was quite green considering the recent dry spell, and a little soft underneath, suggesting a decent if not particularly bouncy wicket.

Captain Dale won the toss and, in the great traditions of WG Grace, elected to bat. He opened the batting himself with Parag. The two began slowly but surely, seeing off the first few overs of accurate bowling from the Melbournians. After 6 or 7 overs they began to open up, with Parag hitting the first boundary of the innings, followed by a splendid drive over the top from Rob, in the aggressive form he usually saves for murdering spinners in the nets. As both got settled, Rob was unfortunately bowled by a ball he expected to bounce more, and was replaced by Ujwal.

Ujwal was in a very positive mood, hooking an early ball for four and hitting another two, before he hit a solid shot straight at a fielder and was caught. The Grewer came to the crease to support Parag, as Melbourne turned to spin after 15 overs. The two batted steadily against tidy bowling, with The Grewer striking a beauty straight back over the head of one of the seam bowlers. Unfortunately he perished, being bowled, paving the way for Peter Sharpe. Sharpie looked in good form, playing some good scoring shots, whilst supporting Parag. Meanwhile, Parag continued to accumulate with some beautiful drives and wristy shots off the quicker bowlers. Peter got to 18 until he perished, and Zee joined Parag at the crease. Zee looked in good form until he was also caught (for 7), followed shortly after by Nick Janulewicz for 0. Parag then perished for a fine 40, being caught off the Melbourne spinner.

With the score at 112 with 7 overs remaining, Ian and Jim knew more runs were needed. After taking a couple of balls to play themselves in, it was clear Jim was in the mood for big hitting, so Ian shuffled the strike to him and let him loose. Jim duly obliged, with his innings of 15 including a six off the spinner that had tied down most of the batsmen with his tight bowling. He was bowled by one of the seam bowlers, with Phil “The Obold” Theobold joining Ian at the crease with 9 balls remaining. The two put on a few runs, before Phil was ran out backing up, and Ian (10) was stumped with two balls remaining, going for a big hit. Still, the sting in the tail had taken Askham to 139, which was defensible, if perhaps 20/30 runs short.

Tea

Rob had prepared another fine treat for the players. This included both pork pies and sausage rolls, onion bhajis and – the piece de resistance – a full fruit salad, for five-a-day goodness. He also continued to support the cheese sandwich diversity campaign, offering versions both with and without onion.

Bowling

Zeeshan and Jim opened the bowling, with Zee finding his line and good pace straight off. Jim bowled a good first over, but then struggled for line and was taken off after 3 overs, with the Melbourne total progressing. Parag replaced him and bowled with good zip, also getting the ball to move in the air. Zee and Parag bowled well in partnership and made runs hard to come by, but wickets were also difficult to find. Eventually Parag made the breakthrough, clean bowling the batsman with the score on 51. Zeeshan was rewarded himself shortly after, bowling the Melbourne number 3 for 12. Would the comeback now be on?

Unfortunately not – Melbourne regrouped and put further runs on the board. However, Parag and Zee made them work for their runs. Having bowled 10 overs straight, Zeeshan was replaced by The Grewer, who served up a nice variety and was rewarded with a wicket with a Grewsra! By this point Melbourne were less than 20 from their target, on 123-3.

As a last gasp, Albert was brought on and served up some pies, but gathered the wicket of the remaining Melbourne opener for 61, with Captain Dale taking a deft catch off the glove behind the stumps.

Alas it was too little too late, and two overs later Melbourne finished the match with a drive through the covers.

Notable other performances

A few other mighty performances should be noted:

• Phil Theobold – still the best throwing arm in the team
• Ujwal – who must’ve saved about 40 runs, jumping in like a panther from square leg
• John McCullogh – In spite of a bad back, the Mainshow put in a fine effort in the field, using his feet in a way not seen since Will Knight was in the team.
• Nick J – Who was wearing a pair of whites with an almost explicitly large hole in the crotch, prompting skipper Dale to question if they’d been from the Ann Summers collection

Overall, the match was a bit like a sell-out cheese tasting event – there wasn’t quite enough on the board, but those there enjoyed it nonetheless.

Tea Takes Centre Stage at North Cave
North Cave 39 for 3 beat Askham Bryan 38 all out

By Pete Wood

The Askham players were welcomed by a strong, cold wind at North Cave. Not to be deterred the team took to the field early for a new fielding drill introduced by Rob. The focus of the drill was to improve our ‘walking in’ when fielding. With THE Grewer feeding Rob showed us how to complete the drill, as Rob returned the ball to Mark it hit him straight on the forehead. Was this a sign of things to come?..Yes

Askham fired up by a very detailed and enlightening team talk strode out to bat. Copeland fell in the first over with a ball popping off the wicket, The Power was the next to fall, quickly followed by THE Grewer. People would have thought THE Grewer would have known the dangers of a leg stump full toss as this is his stock delivery, but he did not spot the danger and clipped it to the only fielder on the leg side. Three down within five overs. Wood moved positively towards the crease and started to strike the ball well after been given an early life. Wickets tumbled at the other end. As Rob entered he was instructed to bat, bat, bat by Woody who fell three balls later. A few more disappointing shots followed as Askham dragged themselves to 38.

In the field
North Cave had decided to swap their batting order around a little bit giving the youth of the team a chance to knock off the modest total. The kids were unaware of ‘Woody Time’ as many before them they were marked up ‘on the bedpost’. Sideshow took the new (none league approved) ball from the other end and it became evident he had been out the night before. The Copeland comments “you can always tell if he (Sideshow) has been out the night before by his first few balls…it is the long hop outside leg stump that gives it away.” Side’ers was promptly replaced by Zee who bowled well and pick up a wicket before the final runs were accounted for within 13 overs.

Tea
The new players in the team had heard the rumours of the tea at North Cave, they were not to be disappointed. The fine selection of sandwiches was underpinned by foods from around the world, including Chinese and Indian treats with dipping sauce.

A hot broccoli and cauliflower cheese bake was presented, the team working their way towards their five-a-day as the chef had smuggled in a few tomatoes and potatoes into the delicious cream sauce. For those of you concerned, the cheese sauce would break all the culinary rules if it mixed with the prawn toast, but do not fret, the bake was served in a separate bowl. A tough decision for dessert – fruit tart with crème fraiche or a selection from the cheese board, most opted for both. As the match was over this could all be washed down with a cool Stella. After complementing North Cave’s tea lady The Copeland stated “I have eaten far too much but it was real good”. The same cannot be said about the Askham performance.

Askham Bryans 2nds 224/3 beat Pocklington 146 all out by 78 Runs

So this was it, cup quarter-final day. The team arrived at a rather nippy Pocklington and were greeted by a hard and dusty wicket. Bains lost the toss and Askham were asked to bat. Prateek and Scooby took to the middle. It was evident that despite the pitch being rich in bounce it was also highly unpredictable with the first few deliveries rising sharply. Prateek was unfortunate to deflect a rising ball to a close fielder and Askham were one down in the first over.

Bains came to the crease at number 3. The next 15 overs were difficult for the batsmen. The unpredictable bounce was matched with some tight bowling from Pocklington which required a highly cautious approach from the batsmen. However, both soon settled and started scoring runs. Bains was particularly prolific with his favourite “paddle down to third man” stroke.

The 2 continued at a steady pace first bringing up the Askham 50, then Scooby’s 50 and Mike’s 50. The 2 were well settled and were quite comfortable, confidently dealing with the Pockington bowling changes. The 2 continued past 100 and 150 and the run rate climbed to a highly competitive figure. Despite our resilience, Pocklington were not going to give up and were firey in the field, showing plenty of passion. Now that’s Cricket!

The weather was also a problem. The temperature was dropping and we had to call a brief rain break about 25 overs in.

With the score at 181/2 in the 38th over Scooby finally fell, caught behind for the brilliant score of 84. A composed innings that anchored our response to the early wicket and put is in a very good position. Fabio Capello has reportedly been in touch with Scooby to find out his secrets for stamina, concentration and flair.

With 2 overs left Sharpey came to the wicket and was in no mood to mess about, smashing 2 fours off the first 2 balls and giving the strike back to Bains, who brought his century up in style with a boundary. The 2 continued to hit out and Mike was unfortunate to be caught off the last ball of the game for 103. Sharpey finished on 18 not out and Askham closed on 224/3.

Tea
Tea was a solid effort with an array of sandwiches, cakes, crisps and tea, a welcome tonic to the cold weather. A special mention must go the addition of the buttered fruit loaf which was very nice and should be a stable of any cricket tea. Credit must also go to the Pockington staff who catered not only for us but for the 2 senior sides playing on the other pitch. There was never a shortage of food and 44 cricketers were fed with ease.

Hat Watch
Afshin was again without his trademark flat cap. After concocting a story that he had left it in the dwellings of a fellow student at the University it looked like hat watch was dead and buried. However, Steve “Salvatore” Mason came to the rescue with the “baggy hat worn backwards” which bore a striking resemblance to an Italian Pizza Chef, perhaps an apt career change for the man with the safest hands in Malton. Mamma Mia!

Bowling
Despite the cold and sometimes wet weather we took to the field ready to defend our total. Sameer and Afshin opened the bowling. Both bowled a good line and Sameer was the first to be rewarded, taking an excellent caught and bowled. Pocklington, however were up for the game. They dug in and reached an impressive total of 76/1. It was time to call on the veteran. Scooby immediately made an impact with a graceful one-handed caught and bowled. A caught behind followed 2 balls later and Scooby was set, taking 5 wickets for 23 runs in his 10 overs. Afshin continued from the other end and was rewarded with a wicked, his flight tempting the batsman into a big hit which went straight to Sameer.

With our main bowlers approaching their overs limit Bains looked to his part-time bowlers to finish the job. Afshin wasn’t finished just yet though, again tempting the batsman to hit it right back at him and holding the catch, what a day for caught and bowled!. Prateek took over from Afshin at the sports hall end and bowed tightly, going for just 13 off his 3 overs. Brad Wood also bowled well going for a mere 22 off 4 overs. The Pocking tail however was resilient and their middle order anchorman was still in racking up some runs. Bains tossed the ball to Sharpey to take over from Scooby at the “hedge” end. Sharpey removed the Pockington Skipper in his first over and then finished the job, forcing the anchorman to play on.

A good victory that has put us in the semi-finals. A man of the match performance from the veteran, backed up by some excellent batting from Bains and good bowling all round.

ASKHAM BRYAN 2 v COPMANTHORPE
by Mike Bains

The day was warm. The ground looked good. But your heroes stumbled into contest with a weakened line-up and WITHOUT Afshin’s cap. Morale was as ever high, the facilities were prepared and the Bains/Mason entente led an extended pre-match warm up.

Bains won the toss and despite the sunny conditions invited the visitors to have first dig. Scooby probed like a veteran Proctologist on piece-work and Sameer presented hostility with a broad smile at the ’slope-down-to-the-rockery’ end. Cop had at least five people on bus passes so the greenish ABCC squad were buoyant. Early exchanges slightly favoured the visitors but then Sameer blasted out the number two (sounds like something for the Proctologist to investigate!!) and Afshin came into the attack.

Flight, guile and bounce saw your capless left arm round hero take 5 for 24 in an unchanged 12 over stint costing only 24. Has the lbw law filtered through to York’s outlying villages, he would have had 8 with the target being double figures, rather than the 143 we eventually allowed the visitors to post.

Tea

Steve Horne opted for bread carving over child care on this particular Saturday. Again, a splendidly presented array of snadwiches, neatly bedecked with cherry-red tomatoes and foliage, was accompanied by a heart-warming collection of meat/pastry combos and an arterial supply of Battenburg and other sugary treats. Jackie had in earlier efforts provided a range of Bentine-esque flaggery to indicate contents and these were notable in their absence, despite the obvious quality of the fillings.

The Reply

144 to win. 3.5 per over. Surely your heroes would bat through and snaffle the points? Bains sent Mason out to bludgeon a swift 30 and he achieved a good 25% of his mission. Scooby looked serene at the other end. Bains joined him and the pair moved maturely past 50 as drinks approached. Bains was moving into the fourth week of knee injury number 76 and many a single was spurned. Yet the pair picked a 4 ball most overs and this was duly despatched. All good.

Jayant ignored the 117 lbws that Cop turned down and gave Scooby out. Hawkeye would have stared aghast. The Veteran Yorkshireman’s output was somewhat less delicate. And so to the collapse – Bains leaning on his crutch / bat as the ash fell at the other end. Scooby made 26, Bains 37 and Sameer, 20. I shall draw a veil over the rest. We lost by 31. Good fun though!

Now, the veil is twitching to be moved. Afshin, capless, made 0. Jayant too. As the death knell sounded, the pair were insistent that ‘a straight one will be the end of it’ as Sandeep made his first ever appearance on a cricket field. Ah, the joy on their team-mates’ faces as Sandeep and Brad scrambled a single.

Cup next week!

Selby 144-4 beat Askham Bryan I 115 all out by 29 runs. View Photos

Bowling

Another marvellous sunny day greeted the teams on their arrival at Selby. Captain Rob Dale, looking bookish as ever, won the toss and elected to field, on a fairly wet looking pitch.

Messrs Wood and McCullogh opened the bowling. Mr Wood bowled spears of pace at the Selby openers, pitching full and causing the batsmen difficulties. Sideshow – resplendent with a perm Kevin Keegan would’ve been proud of in his prime – bowled a great spell, in spite of some trouble with his run up. Jim made a breakthrough early on, with Parag taking a marvellous catch to a well struck ball in the covers. The opening bowlers got no further scalps, but kept things incredibly tight, with Selby scratching around on 2 per over. Rob and Dan chatted away behind the stumps. All was well.

Zeeshan replaced Woody and continued the pace explosion, getting some early edges and unlucky to make a breakthrough. At drinks Selby had just over 50 on the board – Askham were pleased.

Albert and Parag then replaced Zee and Jim. Albert bowled a good first over, then was erratic in the way only he can be…3 or 4 good balls, followed by some “hit me for four” filth on middle and leg. Parag worked up a good head of steam and bowled tightly without success. Selby were beginning to settle well, scoring runs more freely and taking the total toward a hundred. Albert looked close to make a breakthrough in his final over though, with…

The Ball That Did Too Much

Having bowled a personal best of two good balls in a row, Albert bowled a fullish ball that turned a bit and hit the opener’s pads. “Did he get some bat on it?”, inquired our spinner. “No” replied the umpire…apparently the ball had “struck outside the line of off” and “turned too much, so that it would’ve missed leg stump”. Albert asked for this endorsement in writing from the umpire. He followed this up with a couple of lovely four balls, to finish his spell…

Zee and Woody shared the final ten overs and bowled good, tight lines to restrict Selby. Zeeshan was eventually rewarded with a much-deserved wicket, clean bowling the Selby opening batsman for 40. Phil “The Power” Allen dropped a bit of a sitter (by his own high standards) on the boundary off Zeeshan, but then redeemed himself by taking a spectacular diving catch off Woody’s bowling in the following over. Fantasy League conspiracy theorists are checking his team as we speak.

The fielding performance ended with a slightly mad last ball run out, Selby ending on 144-4.

Tea

Tea at Selby was good. It was no North Cave, Westow, Dale or Horne tea, but it was solid, and did include scones and homemade jam tarts with seeded jam. Harsh critics may have requested some onion (maybe spring onion for that light, tangy lift?) in the cheese sandwiches. Still, you can’t win them all (as Askham were about to prove).

Batting

Phil “The Power” Allen and debutant Dan Wheeler opened the batting for Askham, against some mixed Selby bowling. The left armer from the “not the railway” end had a number of leg before and caught appeals turned down. However, the two settled down well and began to accumulate runs positively, getting to 25 without loss after only 5 overs. However, Phil Allen was the adjudged LBW by Albert “trigger happy” Hall, for 5. Prateek followed shortly after, being bowled for 1, and Askham were now 28-2.

Pete Wood then joined Dan at the crease and they rebuilt the innings in fine style. Dan had already played himself in well, with some well-timed backfoot drives and sweeps, building up his innings swiftly. The two pushed Askham forward at a good run rate, with Woody starting to unleash some big hits over the top to good effect.

With Aksham coasting, Selby turned to a young leg spinner, who bowled Woody mistiming a sweep shot. The rot suddenly took hold – from 87-2 after just over 20 overs, Askham suddenly became 98-7, losing Zeeshan LBW for 0, Dan for a well-crafted 42, Jim for 1 and Parag for 7. Albert and Rob put on 10, until Rob nicked one to the keeper for 4, followed shortly after by Praveen for 0. Doug Strachan bravely came to the crease with a split finger obtained during fielding, with Askham still 30 short of the target. Albert decided to try to go for it, and was bowled for 13.

Overall, it was a good match, played in the proper spirit of the game. Metaphorically speaking, Askham will feel a little disappointed that they batted themselves into a David Seaman type position (solid, safe hands at the helm), to be followed shortly after by a bit of a Robert Green (slipping through their fingers).

Pete Wood got man-of-the-match for the second week running, laying the gauntlet down for a response from The Grewer at North Cave. Will he take up the challenge? Check out next weeks exciting edition…

Mr Wood has kindly set up a world cup negative sweepstake, with a cash prize of £64!

In this sweepstake, the winner is the biggest loser, the runner up is king and the world is upside down.

Download the full rules and draw here.

The fantasy league 2010 competition is hotting up, with an early lead being taken by first team skipper Rob Dale, with Mike Hodgkinson hot on his heels.

The highly anticipated transfer window is now open – at only £1 per transfer, can you afford not to transfer the in form players into your side?

Download the full tables here. If you’d like to make a transfer, download the transfer forms here.