Askham Bryan Cricket Club

Askham Bryan 1^st XI v Ovington 1^st XI. Saturday 9^th July 2011.

So here it was, the long-awaited top-of-the-table clash. Askham vs Ovington. 1^st vs 3^rd. Promotion Saturday. The 60-pointer.  The biggie. A huge huge game. Everyone was up for it. On paper Askham had an excellent team, full of depth in the batting and bowling, and all were confident that victory could be ours. Sadly, however, for Askham, cricket matches would not be won on paper this Saturday, but rather on a soft, slow, green-looking wicket. As time went by the contest frustratingly and bitterly disappointingly turned into a match that Askham could have, should have, would have, really ought to have, but ultimately didn’t win. So where did it all go wrong? The first blemishes on that perfect piece of paper were in the form of Woody’s woes, with captain Phil breaking the news to the team: “Woody’s broken down!”

“He wasn’t trying to do a pre-match warm-up jog was he?” replied a concerned player.

“Was he trying to do a stretch?” asked another.

“No, no, it’s just his car that’s broken down”, said Phil. “He’ll be here at half past two.”

Starting the game with only ten men and missing the strike bowler was a big setback. All of a sudden we were not looking so good on paper- Like when a school pupil’s homework is handed in with bad presentation, maybe a curled up corner of the page or needless graffiti. We don’t like that. Oh sorry, I forgot, matches aren’t won on paper, anyway!

Ovington Innings

In good bowling conditions Parag and Maddy opened up, keen for early breakthroughs. Unfortunately it didn’t happen and our visitors all-too-quickly racked up 50 without loss. A change was needed. How would Ovington Cope if Chris Landed his beautiful away-swingers in the right areas? Not well is the answer. Indeed Chris was quickly rewarded for his consistent line, length and swing with the first wicket. Game on. Zee shan’t be deprived of a wicket-taking opportunity and he joined the party from the opposite end. Both bowlers were bowling tightly, runs were drying up, pressure was being applied and the game was turning. The pair took seven wickets between them (Chris four, Zee three) and put us back on top. Two handy catches from Maddy helped. Amid the tumbling of wickets we were starting to wonder if strike-bowler Pete Would actually be required. Giving Chris a deserved break following his superb spell, Woody polished things off in emphatic fashion. Three wickets for no runs in less than two overs. Stumps everywhere. Askham elated. Ovington all out for 115. We were well on top, but did our batsman take note of how the wicket was playing?

Tea

A decent tea was available for all to enjoy. To be picky I’d say a few sausage rolls could be sacrificed in favour of extra cakes. However, I’m always impressed by Askham’s willingness to promote healthy eating and boy was there a good selection of fruit available. Melons, raspberries, bananas, oranges and so much more. There’s five a day there on a cardboard plate for you! I did notice that almost all food was consumed, with the exception of the oranges. I mused later that maybe cricketers find oranges offer a too greater faffing about to taste ratio and thus we prefer the simpler, more direct eating of pre-sliced melon and raspberries (if an item of fruit has to be selected). Personally I tend to go for a banana. Good taste, healthy and limited faffing. Just need to make sure the skin is disposed of appropriately and no one slips.

Askham Innings

Captain Phil and Parag opened and got us off to a decent enough start. Parag hit a glorious straight six and Phil was playing some tidy shots off his legs. Phil was first to go for about 10 and Adrian came in, hoping to get on top of the bowling and drive the score upwards. Unfortunately this didn’t happen as he went back to pull a short ball and was trapped LBW for a disappointing seven. Yes it didn’t bounce much, but why play such a shot at that time on that pitch? He was livid with himself. Dan came in and looked to play more responsibly. Things were calming down a little until a lack of communication saw Parag run out. The ticking of the scoreboard was drastically slowing and Askham were self-destructing. Dave didn’t Slay any bowling and was next to go, before the Grewer also tried pulling a short ball and was bowled. Hardly any more runs had been added and we were looking in trouble. Vikas tried to blast us out of the hole and smashed some much-need boundaries, but he went when getting stumped as the ball bounced off the keeper’s pads. Shortly later Woody was caught behind and Zee inched us a bit closer before falling unluckily. Dan, who had been defiantly hanging on, then went to another ball that didn’t bounce as high as expected. With 9 wickets down we were 30-odd short. The last-wicket pair of Maddy and Chris then put the upper and middle order to shame by proving that crease occupation was very much possible. Together they steadily pushed the score upwards and over the hundred, giving the vociferous Ovington fielders genuine worries. Sadly it was too little too late as Maddy was adjudged caught behind from a ball that may have come off his forearm. We were only 11 runs short. Massive disappointment would be an understatement. We were absolutely gutted. Askham have some excellent batsmen, but none of them performed to par today. I was enjoying writing this report until I started talking about Askham’s innings. Very, very disappointing. It’s taken me four days to come to terms with it but I’m still struggling!

I suppose we can look back on a good, close game of cricket. It’s just difficult when you know you’re good enough to beat the opposition, but underperform when it matters. But … we’ll be back! Oh yes we will! I feel sorry for Woodhouse Grange. They’re going to get the backlash!

Match Report
Selby IV v Askham Bryan II – July 2, 2011

I had a dream

A few years ago I was playing cricket for Askham 2s. I was keeping wicket and had the honour to take a catch to see a batsman out first ball. The bowler was Terry Kiernan. Around three minutes later, the dream intensified as a slip catch saw the NEXT batsman return through the flapping hutch door. I had just seen Terry Kiernan take a hat-trick. Scooby had the same dream. So too did Mike Hodgkinson, who was captain that day. We have often talked about THAT day, THAT dream. I cannot put my finger on it now. The child has grown, the dream has gone.

I thought – we all thought – the dream had gone. On Saturday in shimmering Selby I realized the past two years and more have been but a figment; registering not a jot on the ‘this actually happened’ scale. Recurring dreams have recurring figures; there was Scooby, there was Mike, there was ‘Prince Albert’ Hall. And yes, there was Terry Kiernan. Hauling his wheezing creaking Sentinel’s frame up the mountainside of a slope that is the Railway End at Selby, Terry Kiernan took 4 for 6 off 7 overs. All 42 deliveries were dispatched – with a lung-clearing grunt – from a distance of AT LEAST 22 yards. I looked bewilderingly through the fog at the familiar Scooby grin. He too was a long way from reality.

We’re on the road to Selby

Five hours earlier.

We actually had a few problems raising a team this week; in the end Mike Hodgkinson dusted down his kit and oiled his shoulder joints; Albert Hall agreed to a part-appearance (later you will see just how literal Albert was being!) and Abhijit stopped studying for a few hours. We had eleven. From various points across Yorkshire the paths beat to sturdy solemn strides as your indomitable heroes converged on the greensward that was… that is… The Back Pitch at Selby. Mike Bains collected Mike Hodgkinson and we set off down the A19. The empty petrol tank took just long enough to fill at Escrick for a slow tractor to slip past us. Turns out he was going to Selby too. Nice… We each thought we knew where the ground was. Got the wrong road, yet the iPhone map saved us and we could see the sightscreens just across the railway lines. Slip along this track, over the level cro… ah! A manned level crossing! Out of the car. Ring the bell. Do not panic. Ring the bell. Do not panic. Keep finger on bell whilst maintaining sang froid. Local chap emerges from shed discussing already the merits and demerits of people who push the bell more than once. Over the track, into the car park.

Bainsey’s Calling

Tails. And the Ruler’s features are face-down into the mottled playing surface. It’s happened! We’ve won the toss. An awkward silence descends, pregnant in its nervous anticipation. The Skipper had forgotten what happens when you call correctly! Flustered he indicates that your pin-up Spartacus cut-outs will have first dig.

I see Ian Hall as a lynch-pin. A rock around which to build cavalier crowd-pleasing cameos. I thought he agreed; I umpired and could barely bring myself to watch as the first delivery of the second over was met with a swishing blade. Ah, no, the swishing blade missed the first delivery. The second ball was relatively uneventful and the third ball saw Albert loft one delicately to square leg. A mumbled apology and off Ian went. Doug and debutant Anuj soon followed and we were 25-3. Scooby and Abhijit both showed class and lifted the score to 55.

A small boy came onto bowl. Mesmerisingly slowly. I think he was bowling leg spin. Allied to the slow pitch he proved too much for your dashing heroes; one by one we succumbed and he ended up with 5 wickets as we fell for 126. Brad made a steady 21 and Mike Hodgkinson swished a swashbuckling couple of boundaries.

The Tea

It was a traditional Selby tea. Carbohydrate followed carbohydrate; a pleasant bunch clambering into position to soak up later the sparkling cold refreshments in the Selby CC beer pumps. Nice cakes, builders’ tea, orange squash completes the picture and off we go.

Into the field rode the 600. Er, 11. Er, 10 and a half.

We had a good attack. Could they hold back the Selby willow? We knew Ian was departing quite soon so we only had a full eleven for a few overs. The opening tridente would be Scooby, Mike H and TK Maxx (Terry Kiernan). This was like slipping through some sort of tear in the very fabric of the universe; as though Fringe Division had thrown up an experiment, which exposed something vaguely peculiar in the space-time continuum. How many overs had these three gunslingers delivered in the name of ABCC?

With Bala on first team duty, the gloves passed to The Silver Rug. He exuded a 70s porn-star confidence and all the instructional barks of a Parade Ground RSM. The bails quivered and the sun glinted off that silvery weave. Scooby rubbed himself. With the cherry. Let the battle commence.

Scooby and Mike bowled unchanged for 24 overs. After a couple of unseemly attempts from Abhijit to wrest the ‘Cinderella’ epithet from Afshin, the fielding noose tightened. ‘Stone’ Mason achieved a quite astonishing swelling at the end of one of his members in stopping a drive at short cover. Scooby went for 1 off his first 6. Mike at the other end coaxed his memory and his muscles into metronomic parsonimity. Who writes this shite!

Scooby strikes! A tickle from the willow of the number two and the ball is clutched by the tinsel-tonsured talisman behind the stumps. God I’m looking forward to next weekend… And again, a quite balletic one-hander from Nikhil and at drinks the hosts are floundering at 28-2. Neither Mike nor Scooby would want to come back for a second spell today so on they went and at 24 overs, Scooby had 2-12 and Mike, 0-29. 41-2 – brilliant bowling both. The required rate shooting up faster than a Pocklington trundler in Ibiza.

Would the real Tigernan / Terry Kiernan please stand up?!

Ian having departed 10 overs hence, we were battling on with 10. 86 to win off 16. Abhijit was his usual brilliant self, taking 2 for 8 off 5. But all you could hear at the other end was grumbling. A sort of South Yorkshire gravel pit grouch as Kiernan moaned about having to bowl up hill. You could not hear the purple or the blue two-coachers trundling past behind him. What WAS loud was the roar as Terry rearranged the furniture of the number 7. “Ah’ve got a bloooody weeeekit”. It all went hazy then as the scorer struggled to keep up with Tigernan and his devilish left arm over. Terry ended with a guileful 4-6 off 7 overs. I’m pinching me’self Tezza! Scooby’s arms are black and blue. Mike H has gone for a lie down. The points are in the bag. The boys are in the bar. The beer’s in the bellies and we’re off home!

(Their scorer had him in the book as “Tigernan”)

Mike Bains
Captain – ABCC 2s

Editor’s Note: I am writing report for the first time and I didn’t have any stats for the match with me so I tried to write down as much as I could remember. Excuse me if you find it a bit weird.

Aksham Bryan 1st beat Universiy of York by 22 runs.

It was a bright and lazy afternoon but ABCC squad was looking charged enough to take on University of York team. Pitch was looking well rolled up and hard from a distance but after having a close look it was clear that it was gonna be a tough day for the bowlers. Pete won the toss and decided to bat first.

Parag was missing so Captain showed faith in Vikas when he was raising his hand desperately to open up for the team. Mark Grewer and Vikas Dangi headed out and started scoring in a decent way in the first over. But Vikas was in no mood of showing decency to university’s bowlers and started hitting hard as soon as he got the strike. With Grewer giving him a good backing, he played a fast innings scoring 55 runs off 30 balls before he got out when he tried to hit another boundry over the head of bowler but his bat broke from the middle and the ball went straight into the bowler’s hands.

Zee joined Grewer who was looking very much settled by that time but Zee had something else going in his head and he refused to take a call for the third run from Grewer who then tried hard rolling all over the pitch to get back in crease but unfortunately bails were off and he was walking out of ground fuming. Dave joined Zee and both had a very steady and long partnership. Zee scored 32 which includes some well placed boundries before he got out and covered up the damage. Dave continued playing with patience and was the leading run scorer of the match before he got out at 78 before he had some short partnerships with Simon and Pete. Maddy scored a good 16 at the end and ABCC were 225-6 in 40 overs.

Tea was alright, looked like it was organised by animal lovers, but there were some good veg sandwiches.

Maddy and Zee opened up bowling for the team and tried to bowl with good line and length but they weren’t getting much help on the flat pitch. University was looking pretty strong till the drinks break scoring almost 100 without any loss. Pete was looking charged up after drinks to take some wickets and he covered the run up with enthusiasm with fire in his eyes but, suddenly realised he doesn’t have ball in his hand which he forgot to collect from the umpire after the drinks. Copeland took the charge from the other end and he did something which was not at all expected when team saw him coming in the pink t-shirt. But he proved the colour code wrong and gave ABCC the breakthrough they were looking for a long time.

Copeland and Pete didn’t look back after that and almost wrapped up the university team. Copeland bowled beautifully and took 5 wickets and shattered the hopes of university team. Pete got 3 wickets before he handed over balll to Praveen. Praveen bowled with his full strength and got awarded with a wicket. Sam did the last over for the team and showed his aggression on the poor short lad by hitting the ball on his shoulder. And that was the end of second innings, ABCC won by 22 runs and it was a great team effort. Let’s not forget the tight wicket keeping by Bala who saved many runs diving on some wide balls.

Red, White and Green: The Cricketers Christmas Weekend

Cricketers Christmas Eve

5 excited cricketers flaggers converged at the College ground for the official Askham Bryan Cricket Club Cricketers Christmas Flags Championship, to find a challenging 22 flag course already laid out and waiting the blossoming of their collective talents. Damian was first to arrive, suitcase in tow… what had he brought for his Secret Santa?! The Copeland was next, speeding all the way from Leeds. Then Sideshow rolled up, uncharacteristically a picture of health. Obviously this man had not had a drink since the previous weekend – and, he promised, would be in bed before midnight tonight as instructed! The Grewer, manly as ever, arrived on his all-terrain steel horse – no doubt practicing for his latest Iron Man triathlon, scheduled for Boxing Day night. Probably. Phil “The Power” Allen completed the starting line-up. Who would triumph? Could the Social Secretary repeat his stunning play-off victory from 2010, when Sideshow faltered – overcome by nerves – leaving the Copeland to embark on a full lap of honour round the entire field? Or could the returning Grewer live up to his (familiar) boasts that any win in his absence was somehow tarnished?

All the players picked up early flags (except the Copeland) with The Grewer storming into an early lead. The Copeland’s erratic play led to The Grewer commenting that he couldn’t understand how he’d taken the title the previous year…

Trashtalkin. He loves those. All I want for Christmas is The Grewer.

On the back straight The Copeland suddenly found his form, taking 3 straight holes and putting himself back into contention. Momentarily this shut The Grewer up, but predictably (and sadly) the sporting behemoth responded to the challenge. With 4 holes to play The Power, Sideshow and The Copeland were all in danger of being eliminated… with debutant Damian providing the only real challenge. One by one these 3 were knocked out, leaving Damian surprisingly tied with The Grewer for the lead with one hole to play. Who would throw first? It went to a coin toss, won by Damian, who chose to go last…

Controversy

The Grewer put his ball close, but not stone dead. Could Damian pull off the Flags shock of the year? One could have heard a pin drop as his arm drew back… suddenly the stillness was rent asunder as The Grewer shouted “C*CK!”

Damian was totally unsettled by The Grewer’s rank cheating gamesmanship and his throw went long… The Grewer celebrated wildly at his return to the top table. Was he apologetic or unrepentant following his dastardly deeds? Surely Christmas is a time of good will to all men, including your closest opponent? I’ll leave you to guess.

ABCCCCFCC champion: The Grewer

A second (unofficial) course was laid out by Sideshow and played in reverse order. A diverse mix of holes delighted the players. This round was more competitive and with one hole to go natural talent Damian led by one from The Grewer and The Copeland. Could he hold out for a consolation unofficial win? The simple answer is No. The Grewer took the last hole to set up a play-off, which a thoroughly demoralised Damian lost, thus handing double victory to your Chairman.

There was nothing to be done except adjourn to the Nag’s Head for Secret Santa and the ABCCCC Quiz!

Secret Santa brought us some lovely gifts – cricket based, alcohol based (always good)… the lowlight may have been the gift of boules to The Grewer. Sadly this will ensure his basic flags skills increase still further. Next year I may introduce a handicap system. Which could involve knee-capping.

The ABCCCC Quiz

After some delightful victuals provided by the pub (some slight disappointment at the absence of “turkey with all the trimmings” was alleviated by the superb alternatives) we moved onto Quizmaster Copeland’s two part Quiz. Part 1 was all about Cricketers Christmas, which proved mostly beyond our contestants’ collective ability. Some choice examples follow here:

Q: What were the 3 wise mens’ names who brought gifts to the baby Jesus?
A: Ernie (The Grewer), Mohammed (Sideshow), Simon Cowell (Damian)

Q: Which famous Spanish architect was born on Cricketers Christmas Day 1852?
A: Bob the Builder (Damian)

There were 18 questions in Part 1. The highest score was 5/18 by Sideshow… unsurprisingly (see above) Damian brought up the rear with 0/18. However everyone learned a lot about Cricketers Christmas, which was the main thing. Same questions next year?

Part 2 was a general knowledge section with 11 questions. By now generously lubricated, our contestants fared better here. Except Sideshow. He only scored 4/11, and was so happy when he realised the answer to one of the questions that he blurted it out, causing The Grewer to cross out his wrong answer and write the correct one! The Power was not amused…

The Grewer scored a creditable 8/11, but was trumped in the round by The Greig who both scored 9! Thanks to Sideshow’s intervention the Grewer won yet another event by one solitary point…

Distraught by coming 2nd in all 3 events so far, Damian suggested a game of clock darts which he was sure he could win… and win it he did, despite a late surge from the Grewer which looked like it might cause Damian to go “looking for Ray Finkle… and a new pair of pants”.

A superb evening was had by all, the highlight of which was surely Mark’s hotel story, which had us all rolling around the Nag’s Head floor in laughter. It really was that good. He loves those! But He has also been sworn to secrecy, so He really can’t say any more…

Cricketers Christmas Day

Better reporters than I have already related the glorious events of our dual wins at Selby and Tadcaster… it falls to me to relate the events of the Greatest Night Out In ABCC History… as well as I can remember them…

Eleven of us met, as tradition demands, in The Olde Starre Inne. Most of us were quite unsettled by Damian’s initial costume, which took quite some courage / idiocy to wear. Delete as applicable. See the photo gallery. Most of the rest of us adhered to the red, green and white dress code to a less flamboyant extent… a special mention must also go to Phil Allen for his colourful effort.

Gradually our numbers swelled and we moved on to Pivní for some lovely Czech Pilsner. The green Bernard and the red Kölsch further increased our festive spirits and as we annexed most of the seating area, what could be more natural than Cricketers Christmas carols? The Slayer led us in rousing renditions of “Hark The Herald Angels Sing” and various other classics, before someone (Mike Bains?) had the genius idea of singing “The Twelve Days of Cricketers Christmas” in the round, with us all making up our own verses.

This was the single finest moment of the weekend.

Memory fails me in my attempts to recollect all the verses; however I can remember from Six downwards. Maybe my teammates can help me below the byline? Anyway, from Six on it went a little like this:

SIX runs from Sideshow HE LOVES THOSE!
FIVE NO BALLS!
FOUR runs from Bala,
THREE Copeland wickets
TWO Teflon gloves
And a win at the SLCG!

The sheer volume and joy generated by our inventive efforts was superb; Gentlemen, I was a proud man. Proud to be ABCC. Proud to be at ABCCCC.

From our triumphant Pivní gig we moved on deliriously to the Slug and Lettuce, with a groupie in tow. Who described herself as a “stumpy fat bird”.

No manners, but what a critic.

What she lacked in looks and self-delusion she made up for in tenacity. She made her way around the entire club, with particular fondness for The Slayer, however following rebuttals from all she made a beeline for the ringleader. Your social secretary. After various attempts at letting her down easy – including being chased around a table in a Benny Hill stylee – he finally lost his seemingly endless patience and made his position clear by bellowing in her face. Thanks to whoever it was that got her ejected from the bar for harassment..!

From there we moved on to Tokyo (in York), led once again by Dave Sladen in traditional Cricketers Christmas favourite “O Come, All Ye Faithful”. Memorably we belted out the verses, and were then shushed vigorously by an insistent Slayer during the first two lines “O come let us adore him” before a rousing repeat “O COME LET US ADORE HIM, CHRIST THE LORD!” Someone had obviously been brushing up on their carols on Christmas morning…

Arriving at Tokyo at 02:09 we were told that last entry was 02:00 hrs. Undeterred, your heroes found themselves uttering words they had never before thought possible: “Let’s go to Reflex, it will be great!”

And, unbelievably, it was. Special mentions must go to the dancing abilities of 2nd-most-attractive-member-of-the-club Adrian Stipetic (see gallery), Sharpey, Sideshow, The Greig and The Copeland… but nothing could surpass Dr Robert Dale.

Wrecked at the cricket match during the day due to Stag Night commitments on Friday, he had fully recovered his normal poise. Alcohol and Christmas cheer then combined to unleash the beast that lurks deep within this remarkable man. Like the Duracell bunny, he just went on and on and on. And on and on and on. Manically bouncing and waving his arms in everyone’s face – but particularly Damian’s – Dr Dale was unrivalled on the dancefloors of York on Christmas night; into the small hours and beyond. What a legend. What a night.

Further memories escape me, but feel free to add your favourite moments below the byline if I have missed them…

Cricketers Boxing Day

Despite the inescapable fact that some of us were slightly the worse for wear, 7 of us arrived at Aldwark Manor Golf Club for the final event of Christmas 2011: ABCCCCGCC 2. Damian and The Copeland arrived first, followed by a dapper Sharpey, The Grewer, proud father The Wood making a welcome return, ever-present The Power… and last but definitely not least, some homeless drunk that Phil had brought along.

Oh, hang on! No, it’s Sideshow.

The first group teed off, all surprisingly chipper except for committed socialist Sideshow who was oozing alcohol from every pore. And especially from the depths of his throat. The tamed birds nest from the previous night had reverted to the wild. Imagine a young Uncle Peter from Vic Reeves Big Night Out and you’ll be getting close.

Then disaster struck. Sideshow essayed a gentle practice swing which seemed fine until he whimpered “As if my trousers have broken? For ****’* sake!”

Classic McCullough. The rest of us thought “this is the best Christmas ever.” I discovered later from photographic evidence that Jim’s hapless trousers concealed “just for Christmas” boxers. Excellent effort Sir, I salute you. See the gallery.

And so for the next 4 hours we all wandered around the environs of Aldwark in the blazing Christmas sun, occasionally hitting a little white ball into the bushes. Even more occasionally we displayed some modicum of talent…

We reconvened in the picturesque bar outside the hotel for results and competition winners, so here for your delectation are the results:

LONGEST DRIVE (10th hole)
With a monster drive which was at least 50 yards longer than anyone else: Phil “The Power” Allen.

NEAREST THE PIN (18th hole)
Defying his horrific scoring on the previous 17 holes, he signed off with a beautiful mid-iron to the last hole: Pete “Sharpey” Sharpe

MOST ATROCIOUS SCORE ON ONE HOLE
With a breath-taking 13 on the 350 yard par 4 6th hole: Drunken wastrel and ever-present Jim “Sideshow” McCullough

And so to the overall competition:

LAST PLACE
With an astonishing accumulation of 139 shots, or 67 over par: Sharpey

6th place: Sideshow
5th place: Damian “Ever-present” Greig
4th place: Joint defending champion Peter “The” Wood
3rd place: Joint defending champion Chris “The” Copeland

So who won? Was it ever-present Phil “The Power” Allen, or current ABCCPADCCGC champion The Grewer? Hopefully not The Grewer AGAIN, I hear you say…

ABCCCCGCC CHAMPION GOLFER OF THE YEAR
Phil “The Power” Allen!

Graciously applauded by The Grewer, who’d found his Christmas spirit at last. Or had he? He’s been demanding that Phil’s handicap be cut for next year ever since…

Of course there was also the small matter of who could claim the iconic title of Putting Machine and join the select band of Dr Rob Dale Putting Machine, and Ian Hallis Hall Putting machine. Despite some controversy I can announce the newest addition to the club:

PUTTING MACHINE
Chris Copeland, Putting Machine.

And with that, your weary heroes made their way home to recover from the weekend’s excesses, and it is here that my recollective essay ends.

It only remains for me to thank everyone who came along and joined so wholeheartedly in our Christmas celebrations. It really is true that it wouldn’t have been the same without you. THANK YOU!

And a very Merry Christmas.

Yours,

Chris “The Cricketers Santa” Copeland

Askham Bryan 2s 138/7 beat Tadcaster Magnet 134 by 3 Wickets

It was a bright afternoon. The pitch is nestled in the shadow of the imposing brewery, the angels’ share billowing out of the 18th century towers. Eustace walked towards the quaint post office and asked politely for Mr Taylor, the letter she was expecting today may send her life in a totally unexpected direction…….

STOP! This isn’t Anthony Trollope, this is Cricket.

Mike Bains lost a record 10th toss on the run and we were put in to field. Damian and Praveen opened up. Both bowled very well and runs were at a premium. Praveen struck first forcing the number 2 to play on to his own stumps. Praveen struck again, the number 3 chipping high and straight to Sharpey at mid on. Damian closed his fist spell and was replaced by Terry “TK Maxx” Kiernan.

Despite a considerable track-record on this pitch TK astonishingly bowled zero no-balls. Instead he replaced them with tight bowling that gave very little away. 20 overs came up and the oppo were just 40 for 2.

The second 20 overs

They weren’t very good. So instead of boring you with the detail please be amused by the following selection of verse dedicated to the venerable Doug Strachan

There once was a man named Doug
Sporting his famous silver rug
A sceptic once said
Get some Just for Men on your head!
It could be worse, I could be Bainsy, he shrugged

Anyway, 2 wickets fell. Prateek bowling 1 man and Damian bowling another. Damian’s wicket was followed by a gargantuan roar that made a conversation with Terry look about as loud as a conversation with Marcel Marceau. The oppo closed on 135 for 4.

Tea

Despite the lack of John Smith’s the tea was very enjoyable. There were a good range of sandwiches, crisps and cakes. Special mention also goes to the fresh pizza that was straight out of the oven. On a score of 1 to 10 it was probably an 8.

The Batting

Doug the Rug and Geoff headed out to the middle. The scoring got off to a good start with Doug finding the boundary. Geoff was first to go, taken by a good catch in the slips for 2. Sharpey joined Doug and the 2 batted well until Doug went for 15. Sharpey was next to go, missing a straight full-toss and being bowled for 12.

Nikhil and Sam steadied the innings. Sam in particular played some lovely shots including wristy late cuts and a fantastic orthodox sweep to the boundary. Nikil was next to go, again falling for the straight full-toss and hitting it to mid-on for 10.

Prateek came out to join Sam and started to hit powerfully, finding the boundary. Sam then fell after a close caught behind decision for a solid 20. We were getting close to the target but there was still some work to do.

Prateek went next, caught for 12 runs. This brought the skipper to the crease to join Praveen. Mike was scoring well with his new bat, expertly knocked-in by Scooby. Praveen was then Bowled and Bala came to the crease with about 7 runs needed. Bala blocked the ball out at one end whilst Mike chipped the runs off at the other end. With 1 run needed Bala teed-off and hit the winning runs with a boundary. Mike finished on 19 not out.

A third win on the run for ABCC 2s. We have climbed the table and are up for taking on the second half of the season.

We all then went home and got ready for the Cricketers’ Xmas. A full report is to come but brief highlights included Damian’s Santa Bank-Robber outfit, The 12 days of Cricketer’s Xmas song and a protracted game of kiss-chase across the streets of York.

Editor’s Note: This is a guest report by Simon “John Boy” Walton

Askham Bryan CC 1st XI beat Selby CC by 40 runs in the York Vale League division 2 clash.

I apologise whole heartedly if this is not as good as its predecessors, I am not a very creative or interesting writer but here goes!

Putting last weeks cup defeat behind them Askham players arrived at the SLCG in buoyant mood (some more than others as several players were still under the influence from the night before) on Cricketers Christmas Day. Chris arrived rather toned down compared with the last few weeks! I was expecting red shirt, green jeans and white trainers!
The pitch like Copmanthorpe’s looked slow and moist with the groundsman rolling it and not bothering to cut it. T.H.E GREWER picked up his new plank of wood and tested our handling skills; some of which (including mine) resembled trying to catch water in a sieve!

THE TOSS
The weather outside was not frightful, Phil lost the toss (again) Selby put us in to bat how delightful, we were fine with it didn’t really care, let them bowl let bowl let them bowl! (Bad I know) We were confident that even without the likes of Peter ‘Mongoose’ Wood and the Second-Most-Attractive-Man-In-The-Club Adrian Stipetic that the batting was solid enough to post an imposing target.

THE GAME
As always Parag and Phil opened up. The Selby attack were very young and probably should have been opening presents at home rather than the bowling. The young left armer probably wished he had when his first delivery was coolly dispatched to the boundary by Parag ‘The Almighty’ Mohite. To be fair though, after this the lad bowled particularly well as did the other tyke at the other end.

Several overs passed with the pair scoring steadily in testing conditions. The ball didn’t seem to bounce consistently with one popping then the other staying low. Parag then tried to play a shot too many and mistimed a shortish delivery from the young left armer and was subsequently caught at mid wicket by what I can only describe as one of Santa’s elves!

In at three came Dan ‘The Wicket Is Awful’ Wheeler. Santa’s elf was brought into the attack and you could see Dan and Phil’s eyes light up like the North Star and it was snowing boundaries (in their heads at least). Dan didn’t take long to get into his stride and went through his repertoire of drives, square cuts and pulls and Phil ticking over like Father Time with singles and twos. Dan passed 30 before getting a rather nasty looking delivery on a length which definitely surprised the unlucky batter and whilst walking back to the pavilion used a full variety of descriptive words in relation to the dire pitch. By this time the Selby young guns had been replaced by their experienced bowlers which baffled all of us why they didn’t start. It was either brilliant captaincy or he had regained his sanity half way through the innings.

Next came ‘Leo Sayer’ Dave Sladen at four looking to add to his growing reputation as ‘The Slayer’. Unfortunately he was ‘Slayed’ after only a couple of deliveries getting a dud ball and low bounce which he toe edged and felled his Christmas trees.

Simon ‘Spikes’ Walton strode to the crease at five looking to repay the faith the gaffer had given him with a hefty promotion up the order. However like a child receiving a rubbish gift looked disappointed when feathering a wide delivery to the wicket keeper without troubling the scoring.

T.H.E Grewer at six was next to join Phil. Was this the time that the scoring started to pick up? The answer was yeah kind of! T.H.E Grewer took a few deliveries to get used to the pace of the wicket but hammered a straight six over the young left armer’s head, what a cracker! He and Phil upped the scoring and even they both were out in their twenties the damage had been done.

Chris ‘All I Want For Christmas’ Copeland at seven looked stylish (on the pitch not off it) and scored his highest score of the season, ‘Darren’ Maddy our debutant and Jim ’Sideshow’ McCullough finished off the innings with ingenuity and a variety of big shots which pushed the score up to a challenging 163.

TEA
Short and sweet. On a Christmas Day there should be roast turkey, roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings, sprouts, boiled vegetables maybe a drop of sherry and all the usual Christmas delectables. In reality we got a small selection of sandwiches, some sausage rolls, a few cakes, weak orange juice and a bad cup of tea. Not the best in my opinion although the jam scones though small were good, probably give a generous 6 out of 10. What made things worse was that the away team thought it was clever to feed themselves first and not tell us. It was only because several of us went on the scavenge that we knew tea was being served. Not good and not cricket!

THE GAME CONTINUED
After the disappointing tea, the Askham posse took the field looking to defend an imposing target. Parag and former Clifton Alliance player ‘Darren’ Maddy AKA ‘Madhouse’ were handed the ball to open up the Selby batting attack. What followed was several overs of ferocious, devastating and accurate bowling with the batters swinging like the sixties and finding it difficult to score.

Frustration started to build as they limped like Rudolf with foot rot into the twenties with 12 overs gone. Parag much to our surprise then pulled up quite sharply like he’d been shot in the thigh and subsequently went off for treatment.
Phil looked aghast as he had to look to Chris ‘Walking in the Winter Wonderland’ Copeland as a replacement. Like St Nicholas when he sees a mince pie, he was hungry to get into the fray and almost bit Phil’s hand off with the offer. The left armer didn’t disappoint. A devastating spell of length bowling bamboozled the opening pair and was rewarded when the number one was clean bowled. This was quickly followed by another sharp delivery to the number three who swiped at a ball moving away from him and landed easily into Dan’s hand, a simple catch in the end. (I’m not doing Dan much justice. Some people say that catches win matches and truthfully it was a stunning one handed piece of fielding at full stretch that would have no doubt raced to the boundary) He, Copes and the rest of us were clearly pumped.

At this point I must mention that the fielding from every member of the team had been brilliant. Dave ‘The Slayer’ Sladen kept the backing up sharp as he couldn’t control his own strength and instead of throwing the ball to Rob decided over or wide of him was a better idea. Good job a fellow teacher was at square leg to mop up!

Sorry Dave I couldn’t resist a dig.

Anyway back to the game. Selby were clearly struggling to cope with Askham’s continuous pressure and the scoring was very slow. A combination of excellent bowling and fielding restricted the singles and boundaries were non-existing as the covering fielders chased everything down. Maddy ended his first spell of seven overs for just a couple but not that elusive wicket that he craved and deserved.

T.H.E Grewer replaced him and bowled his typical straight swinging deliveries. The batters seemed to like the change of pace and slightly upped their game, scoring on a more regular basis. However Selby’s resistance was squashed before it could put any doubt or decent in our ranks. T.H.E Grewer picked up a vital wicket, Chris took his third, Parag got in on the act after his injury scare and Maddy finally got his first and second wickets for his new club. In the end Askham’s combination of skill and graft was too much for the home side as they stuttered to 123 for 7 with the kids finishing off their innings.

In the end a comfortable and well deserved victory that sees us leap frog the opposition. Well done guys best performance of the season so far, let’s keep it up!
THE END!!!! OR IS IT????

Askham Bryan 2s 219/9 beat Selby 101 by 118 runs

So we were back at The Retreat for a second week. Despite the forecast for rain the weather was quite nice and only got better as the team assembled at the ground. Askham were having a bat.

We opened up with Doug and one game a season Aussie Jim Lee. The 2 started very well, Jim was hitting some big shots from the off and both batsmen headed towards a good total. Doug was first to go for 17 after a controversial LBW decision by umpire Damian. This brought Mike to the crease to join Jim.

Jim brought up his 50 as Mike provided good support from the other end. The run rate was consistent and we seemed able to cope well with the different bowling offered up by Selby. Jim eventually went for a fine 67 after being caught in the gully.
Late arrival Scooby headed out to join the skipper who was batting fluidly. Scooby soon fell for 12 after a close caught behind decision and Sam Abbey came to the crease. Sam was positive from the off, hitting some powerful boundaries and upping the run-rate as we headed into the last 10 overs of the innings.

Bains fell for a well crafted 31 after being caught at mid-off. Matt Cox went in and started hitting well, making a quick 10 runs before being caught. Sharpey lasted just 3 balls and Praveen joined his compatriot at the crease.

The 2 gave us an excellent display of running between the wickets at the death. They were both alert, communicated well and were able to squeeze quick runs out of nearly every ball. This brought us up towards 200 with a few overs left. Praveen was C&B for 12.

This brought in Bala, who last week scored 61 on this ground. He picked up where he left off, smashing the attack to all parts and making a quick 21 from not many balls including 2 sixes. Sam fell for an excellent 39 and Ian Hall came in to see the last few balls out. He finished on 0 not out with Askham reaching and excellent 219/8 off 40 overs.

Tea

The tea was excellent again from the pub and has a voluminous range of sandwiches, cakes, fruit and sausage rolls, more than enough to feed 2 teams and the supporters. However, one of the oppo was a bit disappointed at the lack of “Hamster” sandwiches.

Special thanks go to our supporters for the day. These included the Bains and Lee families and Abhijit who came down to watch for a few overs.

The Bowling

Damian and Ian Hall started off the bowling. The banter in the field was all based on famous people with the same surname as the bowler such as Tony, Terry and Carnegie. Both openers started very well and Selby were soon behind the rate. Damian struck first, Bala taking a good catch behind the stumps. Albert bowled beautifully, with some superb flight and variation.

This was indeed going to be a day for catches, maybe we should take up fishing.

Damian struck again in quick succession. A lofted shot back over the bowler’s head was just out of his reach but thankfully Praveen has scurried around from mid-on and held the catch. Next ball was one that rose sharply and was chipped up by the rather surprised batsman. Bala was underneath it and made no mistake. The field came in for the hat-trick ball which was then top-edged over the infield. Still, Selby were 3 down.

Ian then got his first wicket, Jim Lee taking a superb catch at short-cover. The 2 batsmen at the crease started to rebuild. Praveen and Jim Lee were the first bowling change. Jim with his rapid pace was able to extract considerable bounce out of the pitch and went for just 7 runs in his 3 overs. It was Praveen however who got the spoils. First wicket was a high catch taken well by Ian at Square-Leg. 2 balls later the new batsman chips the ball straight to Sharpey at Point.

Scooby came on to take over from Jim and bowled with his trademark tight line and length. He got his first wicket when Sharpey took a catch at leg-gully after some genius field placement by Bains and his “X Marks the Spot” instructional method. There may well be some treasure buried in the grounds of the retreat but for today, the gold was above ground and in the field.

Scooby picked up 2 more wickets. First was an edge that was well taken by Bala. Soon after another edge found the graceful hands of the skipper in the slips as he took the ball whilst diving to his right, wonderful stuff, we needed just one wicket for victory.

Sam “Selby” Abbey replaced Praveen and bowled well in his 3 overs. Jim Lee was tossed the ball to finish off the game and did so, the only wicket that was not a catch as his destroyed the furniture and sent the last man packing.

Another good win for your heroes, maybe we should make the retreat out new home-ground.

Copmanthorpe CC beat Askham Bryan CC 1st XI by 4 wickets in the 2nd Round of the HPH Cup.

Hoping to repeat their giant killing exploits in the first round of the HPH Cup Askham Bryan 1st XI made the short up over the A64 to take on their local rivals in the shadow of the East Coast Mainline. The overhead conditions were surprisingly dry given the deluge that had kept your match reporter awake during the early hours. A mild breeze was blowing offering the prospect of keeping any further rain away from Copmanthorpe. The pitch, however, was moist, and the outfield had been slowed by the over-night rain. The breeze and the damp track conditions looked set to favour the side who would win the toss. While the team awaited the imminent arrivals of Peter ‘Mongoose’ Wood and Chris ‘Cricketer’s Santa’ Copeland, presumably delayed by local traffic, the Askham Dynamite were put through their catching paces by T.H.E. Grewer. (One wonder’s whether he might be sacrificing his own catching form to improving the team’s performance).

Our esteemed leader strode to wicket with the Copmanthorpe skipper to toss-up. Sadly he returned with the news that he had lost the toss and that Askham had been put in to bat. A blow perhaps, but with a batting line-up including the perfect mix of youth (Brad), experience (Grewer) and late order slogging (James McCullough Jnr) surely Askham were capable of constructing a total which would challenge Copmanthorpe.

Parag Mohite and Phil ‘the Power’ Allen duly took guard against the Copmanthorpe openers with the view of building a solid platform. Hoping to exploit the sticky dog and the early green tinge Copmanthorpe opened the innings with a spin bowler and a medium pace seam bowling. The accurate spin bowling, however, proved too much for Parag to resist and the crowd of tennis players, crown-green bowlers, children on swings and passing railway passengers were deprived of his expansive stroke play. Parag played around a straight one and was clean bowled. Phil Allen ‘Key’ was joined by Dan Wheeler and the pair looked to consolidate. Both played some solid square cuts and shots through the covers off the medium pacer, but struggled to get the spin bowler away. Phil in particular found these early overs challenging, and was lucky to be dropped by the wicket keeper. Dan failed to continue last week’s good form being caught by the short leg fielder off a ball dug into his body. With the batting order having been re-jigged to accommodate the teachers’ ‘Baker Day’ T.H.E. Grewer came in next. This of course was not a new experience for Grewer, coming in with a handful of runs on the board and a couple of wickets used to be par for the course. Would Mark be the man to steady the ship. Sadly no, it was not to be his day either. He departed for one, and Askham were begging to wobble.

Woody a man who once regularly scored over 60% of the team’s runs would need to construct an innings if Askham were to steady the ship. However, once again a wicket fell without the partnership really taking shape. Woody departed for a duck, caught at short cover by an amazing catch. Phil remained steadfast and phlegmatic at the other end. His defensive play was looking solid but the need to push onwards was coming. Prateek was next in. Although he played some crisp shots to fielders and he looked to attack, Prateek looked marginally less secure in defensive. He was dropped once by the short leg fielder and was finding it tough. Unfortunately, he was run out before he could really assert himself. Such was the margin of the run-out that the square leg umpire was not in shot. At 32 for 5 Askham were clearly in trouble.

The situation began to improve with the arrival of Chris ‘Talisman’ Copeland at the crease. Chris set about his innings in a business-like manner. Despite making every effort to get forward with a front foot lunge Copemanthorpe’s change bowlers continued to pass the edge of his bat. Copeland rode his luck, and was dropped but his very useful 10 helped to build a strong partnership of 28, the best of the innings. Unfortunately he was bowled by the fast spinner who was wheeling away from the scorebox end. Hoping to force the pace Phil was then caught off the bowling of Hughes, and the score was 60 for 7. It was encouraging to see the skipper spend time at the crease and make a decent 28. This may prove to be the start of a more promising run for the skipper.

By now Simon ‘John Boy’ Walton, and Brad ‘you get a qualification for watching films?’ Wood were now at the crease. Both batted with great technical proficiency. Simon looked comfortable at the crease, demonstrating good footwork and getting into good positions. Sadly he fell for six. Brad also fell for six, caught off a good delivery. This brought together Askham’s last wicket partnership James McCullough and Robert Dale, undergraduate and tutor. Yet it was unclear who was giving who the tutorial in later order batting. Sideshow was in imperious form crashing the ball to all parts, while Dale was perfecting his new shot the charge down the wicket. Putting on 17 for the last wicket in just three overs wrested the momentum away from Cop, well just a little. Askham’s 97 for 9 represented a good recovery from 32 for 5, but still looked short of the 120 that most of the team thought was a minimum score.

Tea

Askham’s Board of Tea Examiners convened around the pool table to sample the offerings made available and re-convened outside on a bench. The tea was very well received. A range of pizza, sausage rolls, prawn toast, spring rolls, sandwiches and cakes (along with a range of other comestibles) were offered. Sideshow was disappointed that Dave ‘Leo’ Slayden wasn’t there to reinforce the plain cheese sandwich cult. The team was divided about the tea, and I would propose that this was very much a borderline candidate. A good range of snacks, as well as tasty cup-cakes went down well, but greater attention to detail and presentation could have improved the classification. Banter (once more) revolved on challenging Sideshow’s academic credentials.

Copmanthorpe’s Innings

The match would now depend on whether Askham could take early wickets and put Cop under pressure from the start. Woody and Grewer opened the bowling together, with the aim of making early inroads. With Andy Northfield attacking from the off and letting his bottom hand dominate the ball was hit in the air a great deal. Chances looked like that they would come early. However, Wood, carrying an ankle injury, was never able to quite hit his straps. Grewer made a decent start. But after five overs of each bowler it was looking just a little too easy for both openers. The breeze was indeed drying the pitch out, making it easier and easier to score. A double change beckoned.
It was now time for some classic McCullough and for Parag to let rip. Sideshow bowled some good balls, but there were also some leg-side deliveries and some lose balls outside off. However, Parag was a revelation at the other end. He bowled a consistent off side line and with admirable pace. Parag made the first breakthrough removing Northfield, but the score was already 51. Yet, Parag refused to believe that a shock victory was beyond us. As wickets began to tumble the team also began to believe. Parag finished with figures of 10 overs, 2 maidens, 14 runs and 6 wickets. Indeed, it could easily have been 7 if Dale hadn’t let a difficult chance go through to slip, or the same batsman hadn’t been dropped by another culprit. Here was Parag’s reward for all those spells when he failed to take wickets in the past. The team supported him well, and it was pleasant to see a hint of nervousness amongst the Copmanthorpe batsmen. Copeland bowled reasonably well but dropped a caught and bowled chance. But the final overs were all about Parag and his probing line and length. He has bowled much more consistently this year, and combined with his new weapon (the outrageous appeal) he looks set to take many more wickets.

Overall, Askham didn’t disgrace themselves in the HPH Cup 2nd Round (unlike last year). Losing the toss would always make victory an uphill battle. The team fought back well with the bat and saw all of their overs out. Parag’s tremendous spell was a high point. In such situations England would draw up a list of positives, and there were many of these: Phil’s time at the crease, Simon’s signs of form, Sideshow’s late order hitting, Brad’s very convincing fielding performance and Parag’s bowling. All in all a pleasant but ultimately frustrating game.

This is a guest review from Dan Wheeler, the fake Grewer was somewhat quiet this week

Pre-match: Copeland’s Clothes
This week The Copeland opted bright and bold over the pastel colours of previous weeks, and arrived decked out in a striking turquoise t-shirt together with garish red jeans. Matching red trainers completed the outfit perfectly, however the decision of The Copeland to wear these for umpiring prompted complaints that the batsmen’s eye-line was being impaired.

First Innings
Askham Bryan were invited to bat first on a pitch that looked as fresh as Wayne Rooney’s hair transplant. The optimism within the ranks had been dampened slightly with the news that Zeeshan had a note from his mum to say his knee was “really quite sore” and he would be unable to take part. This note was inspected by the teachers and found to be genuine, and so Prateek was asked to deputise in the lower middle order. The rest of the batting order remained unchanged.
Parag and Phil strode out to open the batting, and for a while Phil matched Parag’s scoring rate. Then the innings began.
Despite Parag failing miserably to score a boundary from the first ball of the innings, the openers provided a solid platform with a partnership of 47 before Parag was dismissed for 24, bringing Second-Most-Attractive-Man-In-The-Club Adrian Stipetic to the crease.

The Skipper was next to fall, dispatched by the golden index finger of Rob Dale LBW for 19. Phil chuntered all the way back to the pavilion, adamant that he had got an inside edge, and he got the usual level of sympathy from his teammates; none.
All was not lost, however, as Wicket-Keeper-Batsman Dan Wheeler was next in. Having persuaded Phil that his current form warranted promotion up the order (“I know I was out first ball last week, but I genuinely felt in good nick”), Wheeler strode out to the middle – a swagger in his step and a steely look in his eye. Watching teammates held their breath in anticipation of what might follow; they would not be disappointed. Wheeler set about systematically dismantling the bowling attack with majestic batting, the like of which is rarely seen at the College Ground, and even then only from the visiting side. Immaculately-placed cuts and dismissive pull shots were the weapons of choice, as any error in line or length was punished emphatically.

Adrian was caught behind for 16, but this barely registered with the classy Wheeler, such was the level of focus and determination. He was joined at the crease by Dave Sladen, and the two batsmen combined to devastating effect. Wheeler soon passed 50, as the bowling attack was utterly destroyed in a partnership of 92, and the run-rate climbed towards 6 per over.

Eventually Sladen was bowled by Heworth’s “senior pro,” bringing Mark Grewer to the crease. By this point Wheeler was rapidly approaching a majestic hundred, and so The Grewer, anxious to preserve his status as the only century maker of the season, immediately nicked the strike and saw out a couple of maidens. There was to be no such selfish approach from Wheeler, and as he looked to push the team score as high as possible he was out caught for 87. Both spectators stood to applaud the innings, as Wheeler humbly raised his bat to all eight corners of the octagonal ground.

With the threat of a centurion removed, Mark was now free to play some shots, and a flurry of boundaries followed. Pete Wood came and went quickly, and then, as the Askham Bryan players looked at each other to see who was next to bat, it became clear that something was amiss – no-one was padded up. It suddenly dawned on Priteek that he was due in, and he shot into the changing rooms and grabbed whatever kit he could find. After a quick check with the MCC Laws of Cricket guru, Rob Dale, Priteek was ordered to put his pads on inside the boundary line to avoid being timed out.
Fortunately, the rest of the innings passed without major incident, and Askham Bryan closed on a daunting 239-6.

Tea
With both sides playing at home this week, the caterers were stretched to full capacity. It was then discovered that the second team had commandeered the vast majority of the cakes on offer – and with there being a number of youngsters in the Heworth side, the three Mr Kipling’s country slices that the second team did leave behind were quickly scoffed. Fortunately the cheese and pickle sandwiches were of the usual standard, and so all was not lost.

Second Innings
Despite the presence of Wheeler in the side, Rob was asked to don the gloves as Askham Bryan took to the field. Buoyed both by Wheeler’s inspirational innings and Simon Walton’s new spikes (couriered to the ground just in time), the bowlers made light work of Heworth’s top and middle orders. Woody, Parag, The Grewer and The Copeland all snagged victims as the visitors crashed to 90-6.

Victory then seemed imminent when the number 8 injured his knee and requested a runner.
But the celebratory champagne was re-corked and put back on ice as, freed from the burden of thinking about running (a tactic some of our own batsman have suggested they try, and others are alleged to already practice), said number 8 was able to focus wholly on tee-ing off. The ball began disappearing to all parts, as he single-handedly marched Heworth towards the target. However, with the visitors only an average Grewer over away from victory, The Copeland unleashed a Yorker to end the firework show and complete his own 5-wicket haul.

Any remaining resistance from the Heworth tail was short-lived, as Askham Bryan wrapped up victory by 15 runs.
Victory was marred slightly by injuries suffered by Adrian and Simon in the field. Adrian dislocated his finger fielding a ball in the gully, and Simon took a fierce blow to the face on the mid-wicket boundary. However, once both men were checked to ensure they were ok (in Adrian’s case this involved a quick trip to hospital), they were both heavily fined.
Overall, then, a solid all round team performance, and a good victory for Askham Bryan. Could a charge for promotion be on the cards…?

Askham Bryan 2s 197 beat Drax 166 by 31 runs

So, we were off to The Retreat. No, this was not a new play about French Military History, rather a lovely little cricket ground nestled away in the grounds of the University. Due to over-subscription of epic proportions Bains stepped down to a non-playing role (umpiring and looking suave) and Daddy Mason took the reins.

Yet again, we lost the toss. They put us into bat. Sharpey and Doug may have conquered all comers at the quiz but could they do the same to the opening bowlers?

Sadly not, Doug was soon caught for 2 and Sharpey followed soon after for 6. Matt “Professor Brian from BBC 4” Cox and Abhijit took to the crease. The wickets kept tumbling, Matt was caught for 4 and Abhijit was C&B for 0. We were 16/4 and in deep trouble, would we be finished in time for the second race at the Knavesmire?

Nikhil and Praveen started to rebuild. Nikhil was hitting powerfully, upping the run-rate with some much needed boundaries. Praveen was solid, picking runs around the ground and stabilising the innings. Nikhil was caught for 14 and the skipper went in. Steve was then given LBW for 7 and Terry went soon after for 0. It was still within 20 overs and we were 8 down.

Cometh the hour, cometh the Hall. Ian went in to join Praveen. The 2 batted solidly, putting on a good partnership and taking us up and beyond 3 figures. The 2 boys really turned the game around and gave us a total we could bowl at. Ian went for 29 with Praveen still at the crease, we were relieved to have a decent score on the board.

However, there was still more action to come. Bala came to the crease. What followed was carnage on an epic scale, a Wagnerian opera could be written about the destruction that followed in this quiet corner of North Yorkshire.

Bala took off, he was hitting the ball powerfully and cleanly, proper cricket shots, not slogs. Highlights included consecutive sixes to long. He had soon passed Praveen who was providing solid support at the other end. Bala didn’t relent and continued to put the attack to all corners of the ground. Could he pass his 50?

Praveen soon fell for an excellent 33 and Damian headed out. Bala brought up his excellent 50 and Damian got in on the act as well, hitting some lovely boundaries. Bala eventually went for a fine 61 and Damian was not out on 14. Superb recovery after a dismal opening.

Tea

No different than usual, the pub teas were very nice and enjoyed by all.

Bowling

Damian and TK Maxx Kiernan opened up. Both bowled well and Drax were soon behind the run-rate.
The first wicket fell in dramatic fashion. Damian charged in and the batsman laced it back at him. It first hit Damian’s leg before he somehow managed to trap it against his body with his hand. The ball stayed in this quite wonderful embrace and Drax were 1 down.

The new batsman wasted no time going after the attack. Praveen replaced Terry. The 2 were batting solidly, with some powerful hitting to the boundary. Drax were soon up and beyond the required run-rate.

The no 3 crunched one of Praveen’s deliveries out towards the cover boundary. Sharpey scooted around and somehow managed to keep hold of it. It was a much-needed wicket and we were back in the game. Fielding in general was superb, all players got stuck in. Special mention goes to Strickers for his diving stops.

Abhijit took over from Damian. Abhijit bowled beautifully, going for very few runs and putting the pressure back on the batting side. Praveen picked up another wicket, trapping the No 4 LBW before being replaced by Nikhil.

Abhijit and Nikhil took us up to the last few overs with Drax well behind the rate. Abhijit picked up a couple of wickets bowling one man and Sharpey taking a somewhat dramatic diving catch at slip (for the cameras guv)

With one over remaining, Ian was thrown the ball. He bowled well and took a wicket with the last ball of the game, forcing the batsman to drag on. Drax batted out their 40 overs for 166 runs and 6 wickets.

Overall, both sides agreed it was an excellent game of cricket. Exciting, entertaining and good performances all round. Special thanks goes to Mike Bains for umpiring, admin and looking good, Steve Horne for the support and also looking good and Steve Relph for the loan of the pitch. Thanks also to Drax, they were a top bunch of lads.