Askham I vs North Cave

Askham Bryan 87 all out lost to North Cave 219-5

Bowling
On a day of slightly mixed but generally sunny weather, the Askham soldiers assembled at North Cave for their latest battle. Sporting another new recruit (Veronica Morton) and with Sam Grewer selected again after a fine first week, the team was fresh and ready to go. Mis Slezak surveyed the pitch with the Geoffrey Boycott car key method (see the photos) and declared it was a “good little runner”. The ground also included a tree in the covers, which provided an excellent target for some of the batsmen…

Things started well, with Woody and The Grewer opening the bowling with some tidy offerings. The Grewer made the first breakthrough with the score only on seven, Rob Dale accepting a catch behind the castles. However, the pitch didn’t offer a great amount of pace and the Cavemen started to accrue runs at an increasing pace, punishing anything short with a swat to the boundary. The quick, freshly cut, outfield saw the ball running to corners of the pitch with some ease.

Ian Hall came on first change and bowled a fairly poor first over, before settling into bowling a mixture of full length and full toss deliveries that seemed to keep the batsmen in some sort of check. Prateek was his partner in crime at the opposite end and kept the batsmen guessing with a mixture of bowling, nearly getting their top batsman caught, with the unlucky fielder being Steve Mason. After Hall had run out of steam, The Grewer came back on and enticed the Cave batsmen to let loose. Only four runs short of a century, the top cave batsman went for a boundary to finsih the job, and holed out to Albert Hall, taking a fizzing ball at long on.

Wickets then began to fall steadily, with the Grewer bowling the remaining opening batsman and Woody chipping in, getting another Caveman to edge to patient Rob Dale. Mr Dale continued on his fine form from the previous week by taking a deft stumping off The Grewer, to see Cave 174-5. However, no further wickets were to fall and North Cave ended up with a formidable 219.

Tea
The tea was a rival in most camps for the “tea of the year”. Not only was there a solid range of sandwiches (in various good breads, including tiger bread), pork pies, cakes and cream, there was also a chicken and brocolli bake and – wait for it – a full cheese board with biscuits! After the match the tea lady also provided fresh fruit. Altogether, a cricketing tea masterclass.

Batting
The two bloated opening batsmen (Dale and Hall) emerged to face a mixture of medium pace and spin bowling. Dale started positively, aiming a lovely chip shot at the top of the tree for the first “tree four” of the day. After some blocking from Hall, Dale then decided to chase a very wide ball and give a catch to point. Prateek emerged as number three and hit a lovely four down the ground, before falling to a good catch at mid on attempting a similar shot.

The Grewer emerged at number 4 and he and Hall tried to slowly rebuild the innings. Slowly being the operative word, since – 13 overs in – Hall had amassed a total of 2 runs, barely threatening to get the ball off the square. The first time he did manage to get the ball away, he called for a very risky single, was sent back and was run out by a country mile, bringing an end to his most turgid innings yet.

Pete Wood then arrived and decided not to hang around, soon hitting the North Cave first change bowler for a couple of big sixes. Grewer too began to prosper and hit some lovely boundaries himself, until he was caught out, Askham on 66-4. Mis Slezak got a couple of runs himself before being bowled. Steve Mason followed him in and used his forward defensive to good effect…playing the ball straight back to the bowler for a golden duck. Simon Kelly emerged and survived the hat-trick ball, scoring a run straight away in the process.

Pete Wood then holed out at deep mid wicket, to bring in Geoff Seavers. Geoff looked in good form and middled a couple of early balls well, before he was given caught out to a ball that seemed to just clip the top of his bat. This brought in Veronica Morton with the side still needing runs to get a batting point. She played a very solid defensive innings which allowed Simon to open up at the other end, hitting some big shots and gathering some nice boundaries in the process. The score went passed the golden number of 75 before Simon was also caught on the boundary attempting a big shot.

Sam Grewer then came in for his first innings for the club. He began by facing one of the North Cave quick bowlers and did a great job in keeping the ball out. In fact, a couple of balls in he was given some width and played a lovely shot through point, scoring his first run for the club. Meanwhile, at the far end, Veronica guarded her stumps better than Michael Atherton and also got her first run for the club.

The two batted well until the wily Cave spinner came on to bowl Sam, and finish Askham off for 87, leaving North Cave the winners. However, cricket was probably the winner. Or, more to the point, cricketing tea.

Any opinions on the tea? Or the man of the match? Or on trees on cricket pitches? Please feel free to comment below…

9 Responses to “Askham I vs North Cave”

  1. The Albert Hall Says:

    I’m a big fan of trees on cricket pitches. For me, it’s like the difference between pool (a fun but ultimately fairly predictable game) and bar billiards (a much more entertaining prospect). Except you don’t lose points for hitting the tree/mushroom in cricket. Anyhow…

    Man of the match? Schoolboy error now we have a lady on the team! Who would my vote go to…Perhaps to Mis for managing to hit the tree whilst fielding. That surely was worth a mention?

  2. The Grewer Says:

    I hope Mis was fined!

    I would give Man of the match to Veronica but I nearly threw up when she started looking lovingly into Rob’s eyes from point and he returned the favour. Either that or she was looking at Ian at square leg?

    My vote unpredictably goes once again to the little fella – Sam Grewer – or The Eager Grewer as he is affectionately now known by his cricket buddies. Once again tirelessly running from fine leg to fine leg and carting Rob’s helmet was a colossal achievement. He even mustered the energy from his battered body to score his first ever run for ABCC with a beautiful off side shot that not even I – The Grewer – could better. The King is dead – long live the King!!!

  3. The Copeland Says:

    The Slezak hit the tree whilst fielding? With what? His head? Please expand on this issue.

    Man of the Match is no contest; my vote goes to The Albert Hall for his “turgid” innings of 2 from 13 overs, ended by an embarrassing Kamikaze-esque departure. Certainly this was the point in the report which caused me to laugh out loud (no LOLs here thank you), threatening the exposure of my work-shy web-surfing habits to the rest of the office.

    Oh yes and also for “running out of steam” whilst bowling spin!

  4. The Slezak Says:

    Re: hitting the tree whilst fielding.

    I saw an opportuinity for a run-out at the bowler’s end, but the batsman’s shot toward cover had effectively snookered me behind the tree. I tried to bend my throw around the obstacle, but only succeded in hitting a branch. Nothing ventured, nothing gained say I. Although in this case it was something ventured, nothing gained.

  5. The Albert Hall Says:

    The Slezak – very pleased to see your continuation of the snooker/pool/bar billiards theme in the comments.

    The Copeland – I can guarantee you that I didn’t deserve man of the match for that performance! I’m inclined to agree with The Grewer that it should go to The Eager Grewer again. I can, however, attest that I did run out of steam and that my main inspiration for bowling comes from Fred Dibner.

    The Grewer – perhaps Veronica was looking at the square leg umpire? Or possibly the tree (also conveniently at square leg)? The plot thickens…

  6. The Grewer Says:

    Only 1 person can answer that and I doubt she will! Look what having a female in our team has done to us – we are having gossip sessions about who she was pouting at – normally we discuss these issues about Nick J and his sordid nights at York’s premier gay haunt the Willow!

  7. Veronica Morton Says:

    I’m flattered with all the gossip, sorry to disappoint but the tree was defintely the most impressive thing on the pitch!

    Never mind that though, what I want to know is did I win woman of the match or is there another contender?

  8. The Copeland Says:

    The Grewer, you are absolutely correct. Look what happened to Ron Burgundy’s team of eager newshounds when Veronica Corningstone joined as co-anchor.

    I want to be on you.

  9. Sam Grewer Says:

    Askam RULES

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